Catholic Engagement Encounter--Her Side

I was nervous entering Catholic Engagement Encounter because 1) my fiance is not Catholic and he is very critical of religious institutions but also very open-minded and 2) my own weariness of religious emotional manipulation and anti-gay messages. This was a requirement for our marriage preparation but we are both open to deepening our relationship and opening more lines of communication.

What we got was real talk (not the McCain kind) from married couples and the opportunity to hear and meet from other engaged couples from all walks of life. There was about 30 couples there from all over Southern California. I guess there are normally smaller groups but we had what one particpant called "orphans" from a retreat that was cancelled in Santa Barbara because of the fires. Regardless, I was hopeful when I saw so many couples and many that were Asian, Latino and Black.

Although some parts were a little preachy towards the end, it was mostly a time where Eugene and I had exercises to get us talking and using very good communication and life partnering tools.

There were also two couples, one was married 47 years and the other 9 years, who really poured their hearts out telling us their ups and downs in all areas of their marriage. First, the stuff they said was so open and honest that I was either crying or laughing most of the time or both! I could really relate to many of their personal stories dealing with their family backgrounds or fears that they had. I really felt that they were courageous in sharing the issues and walls that they are working on breaking down consciously.

The best part for me was that Eugene and I got to spend time together forced away from computers, tv's, cell phones, work, wedding planning and other distractions. As one other participant said "in all the years we've been together I was hearing but I wasn't listening." I pride myself in being a good listener. I mean, it is my job... but I realized that I was only listening and taking in what I wanted to hear. I really was able to listen to Eugene and he was really able to open up. We were also able to take time to concretely express our love and hurt toward each other.

The best part though is that we received very simple tools to use throughout our relationship that have to do with decision-making, forgiveness and arguing that hopefully we'll use forever.

Overall, great experience because it was mostly about Eugene and us. My favorite topic :)

I think that if you're Catholic or a fallen Catholic this will be really easy to accept but Eugene wil be posting on his perspective soon in a guest blog... so he can give you the non-Catholic scope.